According to Psychology Today, there are more and more couples who are separating for the last 20 years, because people live together like complete strangers.
I met the love of my life online. We are now married and have a beautiful and smart kid. Who would have thought anyone would find The One online? I am an introvert and would usually keep to myself. I don’t go out to party and seldom interact with people that I thought I’d grow old alone, but we found each other online. So, for people who are longing to find someone to spend the rest of their life with, do not lose hope. But, don’t be too much in a hurry. Finding someone is easier than keeping them, believe me, it involves hard work from both of you.
We’ve only been married for two years, but we both believe this is the kind of relationship that would last a lifetime. How we make it work? Easy! Let me share with you our secrets to a long-lasting relationship.
1. Get to know each other before committing to a relationship.
This is very important. Make it your goal to get to know the person you are going to be with and to help the person get to know you as well. Before you decide to spend the rest of your life with someone, make sure that person is someone you can tolerate to live with every day of your life. The honeymoon phase will fade, kilig moments will not always be there, and obstacles will arise, make sure the person you chose to be with is someone you really can live with. Not knowing who you are living with can bring you a lifetime of regrets.
We’ve only known each other half a year before we got married, but it felt like we’ve known each other since we were kids. We were smitten with each other instantly, but we made sure to get to know each other well. We didn’t show our best foot forward, there was rarely pa-cute. We showed our true selves and shared all our skeletons that have been hiding in each other’s closets. We know how to make each other happy, as well as make each other mad.
Knowing each other made it easy for us to trust each other.
2. Communicate… a LOT!
This is actually something my husband taught (and is still teaching) me how to do. As I mentioned earlier, I always keep to myself. I’m a typical Filipina, mapagtimpi, we keep something to ourselves as much as we can because we don’t want to burden someone else. My husband doesn’t like it. We commit to someone because we want someone to share our lives with, so share! Talk about your dreams, your plans, as well as your fears, and your apprehensions. Say whenever your happy, sad, angry, and annoyed. Discuss decisions, ideas, as well as, failures. Avoid keeping secrets (except when you need to surprise them with a gift or a date.)
Don’t forget to listen, too. Communication is a two-way street. While you are free to talk, encourage your partner that you are also there to listen. You don’t have to nag and force them to share when they don’t want to. Don’t shut down any idea, so they don’t get scared to share. When you communicate, you get to know each other more, the bond gets even stronger, and the trust deeper.
3. Have a personal time and space.
I don’t know about you, but as an introvert, I get to recharge my energy whenever I am away from both my husband and daughters. If I don’t get away for a week, I get stressed and cranky and it’s hard for me to focus on anything. We all need time for ourselves, to start over, to be refreshed, to clear our heads. On my personal time, I usually go out and do my nails, stay in the room to read or meet with my friends, while he spends time playing online games or watching videos.
Let your partner have space. Don’t go checking up on them all the time. If you actually do a lot of the number 2 mentioned above, you’ll never find the need to do this.
4. Keep the fire burning.
Intimacy involves both physical and emotional closeness. We all have a need to be close. So, while it’s important that we respect each other’s individuality, it’s also important that partners make each other feel their involvement. Intimacy doesn’t mean you have to have sex every day (but it’s no problem if you do it regularly, too.) Just a simple touch, hugs, and kisses every day makes a difference.
Just like any other couple, we argue and annoy each other at times, but we always kiss and make-up. We’re not perfect, but I believe we are made to last.
Do you have any other tips for a relationship to last? Share in the comments below!